In order to put this next short story in context I'm going to have to jump back to recall an event that occurred about two weeks ago. It was late on a Thursday night and I'd just arrived home after I had already promised earlier in the evening I would help Chuck McGovern with one of his many unnecessary automotive errands. To those who aren't already aware, I've labeled Mr. McGovern with the term 'automotive hypochondriac.' In other words, if anything at all goes wrong or even looks like it might go wrong with any of his vehicles (he has 6), he insists on taking it to his mechanic. If that habit weren't annoying enough on its own the only mechanic he will take any of his cars to is around a half hour away. Needless to say this was hardly the first trip we had made to drop off one of his cars late at night for no apparent reason. However I had already agreed and I was still in a good mood from hanging out at a friends earlier so I didn't mind for once. I pulled out of my street with him behind me and off we were for a pleasant night drive, or so I thought. Traffic on the way to the highway was pretty much non-existent since it was past 11:00 pm so we quickly made our way to the entry ramp. This is where things began to take a turn for the worse... I pulled on the highway still ahead of him and merged into the right lane of traffic. There was a large truck blocking the left lane so I had to wait until I could merge into the supposed 'fast' lane. Predictably the person in front of me is going 10 miles an hour under the speed limit so I continued to follow him waiting for my chance to change lanes. Just as the other lane finally cleared my dad and a few of the other drivers all stuck behind me and the slow driver in front of me, merge over to the left lane and began to accelerate past him. So I followed suit and merged into the left lane in order to do the same. Just as the new driver in front of me cleared the slow moving car now to my right he decides to slow down for some reason. As he was still in the fast lane at this point I am now stuck behind a 2 car blockade. Although slightly annoyed this was nothing I didn't experience every time I ventured out into Charlotte area traffic, so no big deal. Of course as I glanced back to my right I see my dad and the car previously obstructing my path fly past me on the right lane. Once again I follow suit and finally manage to navigate around the two retarded moving obstacles. No sooner would I finally manage to attain a decent high speed than to have my progress thwarted by yet another two car blockade up ahead. The driver in the right lane appeared to be going slightly faster so I jumped in line behind him, hoping to pass this second set of oblivious morons. Predictably the car I pulled behind slowed down and once again I see my dad pass me, this time to my left. Assuming he had planned on speeding up as well I changed lanes for the umpteenth time and pulled behind him. It was at this point he decided to slow down. Once again there I was stuck behind yet another blockade and now my temper is beginning to flare since I'm positive my dad is blocking me for one of two reasons. Those reasons being to either intentionally annoy me or because he is trying to enforce some kind of dumbass driving lesson and 'forcing' me to slow down. I rode behind them both for approximately the next 5 miles. By this point I was completely overcome by my temper and almost seething with rage, knowing my dad was intentionally trying to bother me when I was doing him a favor. A retarded meaningless favor nonetheless. For whatever reason the car to my right had finally started to actually exceed the speed limit by this point so I attempted to follow him to circumvent my dads retarded attempt to do whatever the fuck it was he was attempting to do. At this point he starts swerving slowly back and forth between his lane and partially into my lane recklessly, perhaps to make sure I won't feel safe navigating around him. I was so mad at this point I considered just turning around and going home, especially since my dad's driving behaviour was so outrageous. Mr rage however, knows no rationality and I was now determined to get around my dad. I pulled up to the back of my dads car as close as I could to let him know he needed to get the fuck out of my way. Apparently the message wasn't received as he did not budge. Just then I saw an opening as the car in the right lane was roughly two car lengths ahead of him. Immediately I gunned it and the turbo gauge the Volvo I was driving, or as I refer to it: the turbometer, shot up all the way. It was at this point I saw the fucking retard was slowing down once again for no apparent reason so my window was closing quickly. I decided to commit to my move and I put the pedal to the floor as I squeezed in between he and my dad. As I looked in the rear view mirror I could see my dad was not pleased with this stunt, not that I gave a shit - at all. I finally sped off way ahead to my destined exit only to just miss the green light and get caught first in line at a long red light waiting to turn left. A minute or two later my dad finally catches up and pulls up behind the car in the other left turn lane, a Chrysler 300. The light finally switches and I immediately put the pedal to the floor off the light in an attempt to make sure I wasn't caught behind anyone once the both lanes merged to a single lane up ahead. Of course as soon as I do so the next light up ahead turned red and I had to quickly slam on the brakes. No sooner did I finishing making a complete stop when the Chrysler 300 followed by my dad both blatantly ran the red light in stereo ensuring they'd both remain in front of me for the entire rest of the trip down this single lane road. My blood was boiling. Not only was my dads dumbass plan to either annoy me or attempt to curb my speeding working, but random fucking idiots in traffic were cooperating with him to seemingly team up against me. I followed them both til the next red-light where we all were turning left. The second the light turned green I laid on the horn before either of them could have possibly reacted and held on it for the next 10 seconds or so. The Chrysler 300 finally started speeding up perhaps getting the hint that I was in no mood to be trifled with but regardless I still remained trapped behind Chuck McGovern. Approximately a mile later we finally reached our destination. As I saw my dad park his car I heard him slam the doors and although I was still overwhelmed with rage I was pleased my attempt at annoying him by laying on the horn at him worked as intended. He then took his belongings out of his BMW and put them in the back seat of the Volvo I was driving, once again slamming the door and walked over to the drop box and put in his keys. Then out of the mirror I notice him walk up all the way around to the drivers side of the car. So I patiently waited for him to approach my window. The moment he did I rolled down my window and intentionally clicked my elbow down on the door lock, locking all of the doors in front of him blatantly. "Get out, I'm driving" he said. "No you aren't," I replied. "You're riding home with me, or you're not riding home at all," I said in the angriest tone I possibly could. This clearly annoyed him even more and he replied "Fine then I'll call the police and report the car stolen!" Thinking he had called my bluff. Too bad The Man plays for keeps.. "Okay, bye," I replied. Then rolled up the window and sped off home to go get a slushy. Leaving him stranded without a car in the middle of the night a half hour away in Mooresville. Like a bitch...
As previously stated these events occurred roughly 2 weeks prior to the events to come. Chuck McGovern and I still hadn't exchanged words since the automotive incident and I knew he was still mad. Completely understandable as I would be too if I had embarrassed myself and gotten completely told. I was in my bathroom and I had just taken a monster gravity bong hit and I was feeling pretty damn good... and really damn high. I exited my bathroom and plopped down on my computer chair and began enjoying the slushy waiting for me as I was listening to music on my computer. No sooner did I take my first slurp 'til my dad walked up behind me and startled me with "you lost your license," dropping the letter and enclosed document on my desk and then walking off. Completely high and disoriented I glance over the document... the state of North Carolina has suspended my license indefinately. I had just been served up with yet another unneeded... Reality Check.
