New beginnings

Irony in Instruction
So today was my first day back in class. It started far too early (6am - the earliest I've gotten up in I can't remember) and ended far too late (my last class ended at 4:20 (insert something lame about marijuana here)). Although the day was generally boring and somewhat a blur since I'd been hungover as hell during my first 3 classes it wasn't a total loss. The last class I attended was a communications class. Immediately upon walking in I almost laughed while I realized the irony present in this course/section. I'm in a communications class with a teacher who has a massive speech impediment. During her overview of the first day material there were several words she couldn't even communicate to me. This isn't like she drags her S's, it's like she has down-syndrome or something. During her examples of communication interactions she gave several examples of ideas or stimuli interfering with the communication process. Let's just say there was a vital and extremely appropriate one she totally missed out on (the ability to speak correctly...). Also I learned the heart is apparently, part of the central nervous system. Good to know... Apparently she has a Phd in communications to boot, which I guess is even better... except for the fact that she thinks she's a real doctor and will probably be a bitch throughout the semester - a fact made even worse by the issue of her not being able to actually communicate with me because I can't understand her. This is beside the fact she mispronounced (and not because of her speech problem) a few words several times, of which I can't recall in my current state... unfortunately. Comparable to Homer Simpsons pronunciation of 'Nuclear,' basically.

Mouse Hunt
So after the other night when I got wasted, well obviously and decided I was solving my maverick mouse problem I decided to place a 'humane-mousetrap' in my ceiling (which only catch and don't kill the vermin), since this was primarily where I had heard Dirk so far. I placed some peanut butter in there and placed it above one of my ceiling tiles. Fortunately for me and Dirk Nowitzki I haven't heard him since the night after I put the trap up there. Unfortunately for Mr. Nowitzki... I was pretty wasted when I planted it and I currently have no clue where it is, given the amount of ceiling tiles in my basement. Ive done brief searches of various spots where I figured I'd have put the trap but so far but I've just come up empty; except for once. For some reason there was a table out of place in my bedroom, near by bedside, so I decided this was cause to search the tiles above it for the trap. I removed one tile and didn't see much until I noticed what looked like a dilapidated magazine page. So I pulled it out. Turns out it was some page out of some old-school 80's porn magazine, which I found entertaining. So then I proceeded to investigate this and when I moved said ceiling tile a shitload of magazine page shards fell down everywhere. Apparently, some vermin also enjoy porn magazines. There were a shitload of pages up there, half of them chewed in half; the other half were just hilarious. Most of these girls bush's were only trumped by their boobs. One was of some girl who had 10lb tits, 5lbs each apparently...awesome. I put them in a drawer for now just for entertainment value although I'll probably never look at them again and should just throw them out. Unfortunately there are now magazine scraps all over the floor in my room and near the trash so I guess I'll have to deal with those and just not touch that tile again. Either way I figure it was a decent suprise. Although Dirk is still up there somewhere, getting what he deserves...a Reality Check.
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I need Nos.

On a totally unrelated issue, Nos has a blog as well. And needless to say I'm sure his happenings halfway across the world are far more interesting than mine which entail walking halfway across a basement - and basically nothing else. Anyhow: http://nastynos.blogspot.com/.

A True Maverick

Basement Bastion
I am referring to Dirk Nowitzki of course. Not the player who is a huge cocksucker and whines about everything. I'm referring to his vermin cousin; who resides somewhere within the walls of the same basement I reside in. About two weeks ago Dirk decided to wage war by continually waking me up at night by gnawing something... I have no clue what. I do know however, it's either in my ceiling or wall. I've tried to scare him off but after a few days I realized he wasn't backing down. Obviously, this meant war.
Well so far in this war I waged; I can regrettably say I am losing the battle thus far. So far Dirk seems easily smarter than his old predecessor, Otis. The other night, well like four nights ago, I decided to go on the offensive and place some traps for Mr. Nowitzki. One of them was admitteldy makeshift; a small pathway via curtain rod into a tin bin with a bunch of peanut butter in the bottom, placed right outside a hole his predecessor had made. Of course I also placed one of the lethal variety nearby. Needless to say he didn't bite on either. He did however, circumvent my 'lethal' traditional mousetrap. I had placed a small 'dab' of peanut butter on the traditional mousetrap; which was now all gone. Somehow Dirk managed to get the peanut butter off the entire trap without setting it off. As impressed as I am with Dirk's savvy, sleeping on a couch outside my room because I keep getting woken up by a god damn fucking mouse negates that respect...and this vermin has gone to far. I'm guaranteeing I catch this thing within the next two days.
Reality Check.
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