The other night I went out to a dive-bar with a friend who was clearly drunk. I don't regret it, necessarily, but I do regret the money I ended up spending.
Anyhow... my friend and I were drinking at the bar and predictably, bringing up republican issues (he was). I was already highly inebriated by this point, so I simply laughed and encouraged the conversation - which was about gun control - the perfect topic to speak about with the opposing gender. Needless to say, I partook in this conversation.
I'd like to say for the record - I did-not - come out to get laid. Even if I thought I could pull that off, I'm just not that guy. My "style" is constantly missing opportunities and getting rejected. And I am comfortable with that, given my Chasexual nature.
This night, however, played out differently. It was akward as fuck. I like to delude myself into thinking I can't be made to feel this way - but I stand corrected.
In retrospect I felt more like a deer in the headlights.
This lady - who was clearly one of the more affluent individuals in the bar - had a different take on things.
I have no idea what about my white-trash 'no-shave-November" look seemed to turn her on, or if I was just the least common denominator - but little did I know - I was being watched. While this scenario might've been a first for me, I took little time exploiting it, in getting her to play me in pool for a liquor drink. Slick.
She made the rules in the pool game we played and still managed to lose. She kicked my ass in her made-up custom game and then scratched on the 8-ball. That's how I roll? (pun intended?)
The following was maybe the most akward interaction I have ever been involved in. She had already bought me the drink - when she did she told her friend, who was leaving, under her breath "don't worry I got this."
If I possess any "game," this took me off it.
I was immediately conflicted.
This woman made her intentions quite clear - and she clearly had cosmetic enhancements I was curious about.
On the other hand - she acted like I was some type of "mimbo" to quote Seinfeld, the entire time. Turn off.
It might be pertinent to know I was high during the entire duration of the pool playing - not that it would've mattered as she seemed to make up her own rules anyhow - and still lost.
Fortunately for me, the best moment was still imminent.
After she scratched on the 8-ball, while I was chanting "reality check, told" and laughing she comes up to me and leans in.
I had not anticipated this.
Predictably, I mis-timed my counter-lean-in and ended up with the most akward "hand-shake" in history - which I accidentally started.
Fortunately she left, with everyone who had witnessed the situation pretty much laughing at me and giving me a deserved...
Reality Check.
Anyhow... my friend and I were drinking at the bar and predictably, bringing up republican issues (he was). I was already highly inebriated by this point, so I simply laughed and encouraged the conversation - which was about gun control - the perfect topic to speak about with the opposing gender. Needless to say, I partook in this conversation.
I'd like to say for the record - I did-not - come out to get laid. Even if I thought I could pull that off, I'm just not that guy. My "style" is constantly missing opportunities and getting rejected. And I am comfortable with that, given my Chasexual nature.
This night, however, played out differently. It was akward as fuck. I like to delude myself into thinking I can't be made to feel this way - but I stand corrected.
In retrospect I felt more like a deer in the headlights.
This lady - who was clearly one of the more affluent individuals in the bar - had a different take on things.
I have no idea what about my white-trash 'no-shave-November" look seemed to turn her on, or if I was just the least common denominator - but little did I know - I was being watched. While this scenario might've been a first for me, I took little time exploiting it, in getting her to play me in pool for a liquor drink. Slick.
She made the rules in the pool game we played and still managed to lose. She kicked my ass in her made-up custom game and then scratched on the 8-ball. That's how I roll? (pun intended?)
The following was maybe the most akward interaction I have ever been involved in. She had already bought me the drink - when she did she told her friend, who was leaving, under her breath "don't worry I got this."
If I possess any "game," this took me off it.
I was immediately conflicted.
This woman made her intentions quite clear - and she clearly had cosmetic enhancements I was curious about.
On the other hand - she acted like I was some type of "mimbo" to quote Seinfeld, the entire time. Turn off.
It might be pertinent to know I was high during the entire duration of the pool playing - not that it would've mattered as she seemed to make up her own rules anyhow - and still lost.
Fortunately for me, the best moment was still imminent.
After she scratched on the 8-ball, while I was chanting "reality check, told" and laughing she comes up to me and leans in.
I had not anticipated this.
Predictably, I mis-timed my counter-lean-in and ended up with the most akward "hand-shake" in history - which I accidentally started.
Fortunately she left, with everyone who had witnessed the situation pretty much laughing at me and giving me a deserved...
Reality Check.
