The other day I was working the door in my father's dance studio. Making sure the right people got in and paid the correct amount, etc. I did that for roughly two hours 'til the influx started to slow down. This woman, the second most attractive woman on the dance floor, approached me and asked me to dance. Supposedly dance etiquette dictates you always say yes to anyone who asks you. I absolutely didn't want to dance, so luckily I had a great excuse: sorry I can't, I'm working.
Half an hour later my excuse wasn't so solid.
"Hey you can probably get up and dance now" - she says.
"Well, I'm working, I don't think my dad would approve," I said.
My dad was apparently right behind me.
"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll watch the door." He said.
What a fucking piece of shit! I thought. He knows I neither like dancing nor enjoy it. Passive aggressive fucker.
Fortunately this woman was very forgiving in her movements and allowed me not to look totally stupid, until...
I'd seen my dad and several other experienced dancers do this twirl type thing to the woman at the end of the dance. Upon not completely sucking I had the false confidence to attempt to dip, the woman I was dancing with. It didn't work - at all.
I blame half of the debacle on gravity, a quarter of it on me, and the rest on her.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my dad, laughing. Faggot
Apparently my "dipping" skills consist simply of gravity and grasping someone before they hit the ground. My dip didn't work at all.
Fortunately, I pulled her up to see the entire dance floor in silence, probably curious about what I was going to do next. God damnit. The experience wasn't totally lost as there was still one person smiling in the room.
Predictably, it was my father, laughing it up - and he actually winked at me - asshole.
So I walked off the dance floor solo, approached my father and said "I'm still more coordinated than you."
He laughed and said when he was my age he wouldn't make excuses - which is ironically enough, an excuse.
"How would you feel if I ambushed you with something you're totally unfamiliar with?" I said.
"I guess we'll find out when you find something you're good at." He says. What a cocky jerk.
Luckily, I have the perfect solution already in mind.
Sometimes there is a DJ at these dance events, and other times my dad simply has a timed playlist to dictate the timing of certain dance styles. Tonight was one of the nights without a DJ... initially.
An impromptu DJ was about to make an appearance. When my father started dancing I decided to take over DJ responsibilities. DJ C4 was on the floor. In the midst of some weird song that they were waltzing to, I played Billy Joel - Uptown Girl.
Everyone on the dance floor stopped for a moment. My dad included, then they all seemingly adapted and figured out whatever dance was appropriate for the song. This annoys me.
"Alright" I think. "These idiots think they're slick, we'll see..." I mumble.
I turned on Eiffel 65 - Blue. Apparently 90% of the dancers had been exposed to this song to my dismay. Almost all of them changed dance steps instantaneously.
"What the fuck is wrong with these idiots?" I thought.
Just then my dad dipped the woman who I had danced with earlier, directly in front of me - and winked at me - what a creep.
Nonetheless, I realized I was the victim of yet another...
Reality Check
Half an hour later my excuse wasn't so solid.
"Hey you can probably get up and dance now" - she says.
"Well, I'm working, I don't think my dad would approve," I said.
My dad was apparently right behind me.
"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll watch the door." He said.
What a fucking piece of shit! I thought. He knows I neither like dancing nor enjoy it. Passive aggressive fucker.
Fortunately this woman was very forgiving in her movements and allowed me not to look totally stupid, until...
I'd seen my dad and several other experienced dancers do this twirl type thing to the woman at the end of the dance. Upon not completely sucking I had the false confidence to attempt to dip, the woman I was dancing with. It didn't work - at all.
I blame half of the debacle on gravity, a quarter of it on me, and the rest on her.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my dad, laughing. Faggot
Apparently my "dipping" skills consist simply of gravity and grasping someone before they hit the ground. My dip didn't work at all.
Fortunately, I pulled her up to see the entire dance floor in silence, probably curious about what I was going to do next. God damnit. The experience wasn't totally lost as there was still one person smiling in the room.
Predictably, it was my father, laughing it up - and he actually winked at me - asshole.
So I walked off the dance floor solo, approached my father and said "I'm still more coordinated than you."
He laughed and said when he was my age he wouldn't make excuses - which is ironically enough, an excuse.
"How would you feel if I ambushed you with something you're totally unfamiliar with?" I said.
"I guess we'll find out when you find something you're good at." He says. What a cocky jerk.
Luckily, I have the perfect solution already in mind.
Sometimes there is a DJ at these dance events, and other times my dad simply has a timed playlist to dictate the timing of certain dance styles. Tonight was one of the nights without a DJ... initially.
An impromptu DJ was about to make an appearance. When my father started dancing I decided to take over DJ responsibilities. DJ C4 was on the floor. In the midst of some weird song that they were waltzing to, I played Billy Joel - Uptown Girl.
Everyone on the dance floor stopped for a moment. My dad included, then they all seemingly adapted and figured out whatever dance was appropriate for the song. This annoys me.
"Alright" I think. "These idiots think they're slick, we'll see..." I mumble.
I turned on Eiffel 65 - Blue. Apparently 90% of the dancers had been exposed to this song to my dismay. Almost all of them changed dance steps instantaneously.
"What the fuck is wrong with these idiots?" I thought.
Just then my dad dipped the woman who I had danced with earlier, directly in front of me - and winked at me - what a creep.
Nonetheless, I realized I was the victim of yet another...
Reality Check
