A True Maverick

Basement Bastion
I am referring to Dirk Nowitzki of course. Not the player who is a huge cocksucker and whines about everything. I'm referring to his vermin cousin; who resides somewhere within the walls of the same basement I reside in. About two weeks ago Dirk decided to wage war by continually waking me up at night by gnawing something... I have no clue what. I do know however, it's either in my ceiling or wall. I've tried to scare him off but after a few days I realized he wasn't backing down. Obviously, this meant war.
Well so far in this war I waged; I can regrettably say I am losing the battle thus far. So far Dirk seems easily smarter than his old predecessor, Otis. The other night, well like four nights ago, I decided to go on the offensive and place some traps for Mr. Nowitzki. One of them was admitteldy makeshift; a small pathway via curtain rod into a tin bin with a bunch of peanut butter in the bottom, placed right outside a hole his predecessor had made. Of course I also placed one of the lethal variety nearby. Needless to say he didn't bite on either. He did however, circumvent my 'lethal' traditional mousetrap. I had placed a small 'dab' of peanut butter on the traditional mousetrap; which was now all gone. Somehow Dirk managed to get the peanut butter off the entire trap without setting it off. As impressed as I am with Dirk's savvy, sleeping on a couch outside my room because I keep getting woken up by a god damn fucking mouse negates that respect...and this vermin has gone to far. I'm guaranteeing I catch this thing within the next two days.
Reality Check.
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