The other night I decided to make a great decision. After beasting a few beast-lights I decided it was time to hit the town
in celebration of a friend's day of birth. I'd like to think it was of good intent but nonetheless, strike one. After my breif but nonetheless dumb automtotive excursion I arrived at my destination. I then called the aforementioned friend to come outside to meet me. In my brief trip from car-to-bar I managed to lose my phone. Strike-two. Despite searching frantically albeit thoroughly throughout the bar, everywhere around and under the only booth I'd been sitting in the duration of my stay at Thomas Street Tavern, I was unable to find my phone. Strike three. Clearly this was a quick three-and-out, although -unfortunately- it did not dissuade me.
As said, these events would normally perturb a more sober version of myself the remainder of the night, however this wasn't exactly a huge problem given my current lack of a sobriety. So we transversed to Snug Harbor. I approached the stage - with live music happening and one of my friends pushed me on the stage to dance. I did, briefly.
Then it happened. Four bouncers - each of whom outweighed me by at least 60 pounds approached me.
"Let's go." was there reply.
"Okay, can I get my wallet though?" I replied.
"No. It's time to go."
"Are you serious, how am I supposed to get home?"
"Deal with it yourself," said the rotund individual.
"How am I supposed to do that without my wallet?" I queried.
"Should've thought of that before-hand." He replied.
That was it - it was time to start trying.
"Alright," I responded and walked off. Infact I walked directly behind the bar and scaled its approximate 20 foot barbed wire fence. I landed just behind the dumbster while only one couple - who laughed at me - saw me.
Slick.
So I go back inside and head strait to the source: the bar.
"What would you like? the bitch bartender who probably had me removed asked."
"I'd like to close my tab and have my card back please."
"What's the name?"
"McGovern."
She instantly called the bouncers over to deal with me.
"Listen I just want my wallet back, is that alright - I'll wait outside if necessary."
This statement was evidently fruitless as they proceeded to throw me out anyhow. Predictably, now I got mad.
"Do you realize how worthless you four fat fucks are?" I quipped after having being tossed out once again.
"I could dust the shit out of all of you at once."
Then one of them proceeded to shove me face first into a tree installation. It hurt, but I was fueled by liquid rage and overconfidence - so I wasn't dissuaded.
They all laughed and I got up while doing the same. This didn't please them.
"Nice try fat fucks, maybe you should be more accurate next time." I exclaimed.
"You couldn't catch shit on a leash, you worthless pieces of shit!"
Obviously they tried to catch me now.
I ran around a back alley while screaming "you fat slow fuck!"
I turned a corner and was met with an unfortunate suprise. Two of them were waiting on me. They proceeded to throw me to the ground and kick me several times. It wasn't pleasant.
Somehow I rolled out of their kick-fest and rounded the corner to the front of the bar.
Fortunately two of my friends were there and the bouncers backed off.
They proceeded to tell me how much of a moron I was while we walked back to their car and yet again I was served with a...
Reality Check.
As said, these events would normally perturb a more sober version of myself the remainder of the night, however this wasn't exactly a huge problem given my current lack of a sobriety. So we transversed to Snug Harbor. I approached the stage - with live music happening and one of my friends pushed me on the stage to dance. I did, briefly.
Then it happened. Four bouncers - each of whom outweighed me by at least 60 pounds approached me.
"Let's go." was there reply.
"Okay, can I get my wallet though?" I replied.
"No. It's time to go."
"Are you serious, how am I supposed to get home?"
"Deal with it yourself," said the rotund individual.
"How am I supposed to do that without my wallet?" I queried.
"Should've thought of that before-hand." He replied.
That was it - it was time to start trying.
"Alright," I responded and walked off. Infact I walked directly behind the bar and scaled its approximate 20 foot barbed wire fence. I landed just behind the dumbster while only one couple - who laughed at me - saw me.
Slick.
So I go back inside and head strait to the source: the bar.
"What would you like? the bitch bartender who probably had me removed asked."
"I'd like to close my tab and have my card back please."
"What's the name?"
"McGovern."
She instantly called the bouncers over to deal with me.
"Listen I just want my wallet back, is that alright - I'll wait outside if necessary."
This statement was evidently fruitless as they proceeded to throw me out anyhow. Predictably, now I got mad.
"Do you realize how worthless you four fat fucks are?" I quipped after having being tossed out once again.
"I could dust the shit out of all of you at once."
Then one of them proceeded to shove me face first into a tree installation. It hurt, but I was fueled by liquid rage and overconfidence - so I wasn't dissuaded.
They all laughed and I got up while doing the same. This didn't please them.
"Nice try fat fucks, maybe you should be more accurate next time." I exclaimed.
"You couldn't catch shit on a leash, you worthless pieces of shit!"
Obviously they tried to catch me now.
I ran around a back alley while screaming "you fat slow fuck!"
I turned a corner and was met with an unfortunate suprise. Two of them were waiting on me. They proceeded to throw me to the ground and kick me several times. It wasn't pleasant.
Somehow I rolled out of their kick-fest and rounded the corner to the front of the bar.
Fortunately two of my friends were there and the bouncers backed off.
They proceeded to tell me how much of a moron I was while we walked back to their car and yet again I was served with a...
Reality Check.
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