McGovern Player of the Finals - Game 1

I had an abnormal start to the Finals this year. I was rushing around unprepared making my lists just as Game 1 tipped off. This was due to running one of Chuck McGovern's ridiculous errands. My problem(s) were not related to the task itself but the sheer idiocy of me leaving at 6:00 in Charlotte to go pick up a massive heavy item in Monroe, essentially South Carolina, in rush hour.
"Don't worry, it'll only be an hour and-a-half drive, you'll be back by 7." He says.
Predictably I arrive at the location at seven. I'm fuming. During a Nascar race, during a playoff game 7, during the first finals game... these are the FUCKING GOD DAMN annoying times he picks for errands. Ironically he's utterly indifferent about these times and time in general, which makes it hard to hate his sort of ignorant milieu. However, by speeding and persistence I managed to make it home 5 minutes before the game started.

My normal pre-finals-game routine involves several alcoholic drinks or non-descript psychoactive substances. All meant to neutralize my perspective of course, I couldn't live with myself if my bias ended up ruining the most important, accoladed, important and frankly - fun awards the NBA world has probably not scene - The McGovern Player of the Finals.
Luckily, I had prepared for such a disaster. In my fridge were 3 Clubtails (10% alcohol, 16oz.) which were Long Island Ice Tea flavored. To give an idea of how efficient these things are: one light beer, let's pick Beast Light, with the highest alcohol per calorie content among any light beer, about .04.

.04% * 12oz = .48oz alcohol - Milwaulkee's Best Light
.10%*16 = 1.6oz alcohol - Club Tails

When you break it down, including the increased ounces of the Club Tails, they're easily the more efficient choice. I might even put them up with 4-Loko's in terms of value/alc-oz in can form.
Regardless, I had some catching up to do - and I did so quickly. So I murdered all 3 cans by the half-point if the second quarter. If these athletes are going to power through to entertain us, I feel it's only my will, if you will, to will my way through the lateness, the tiredness, the rushed episodes and contribute the true essence of the McGovern Player of the Finals - judgement.

Judgement day is an apropos name to give to this Final's match up. I came in disliking both teams severely for different, yet similar reasons. I dislike them both because of their star player and hype. I've always noticed I was a contrarian but I've recently realize I tend to root against whatever team/player/entity is currently favored. Thus, during this season, I pretty much hated the Warriors as everyone from or around the Charlotte area won't SHUT THE FUCK UP about this faggot Curry.
Clearly no one has shut up about LeBron since he's been in the league, so he's always annoyed me too - since his rookie anointment. 

When the playoffs started, I was watching the first game of the first round and some guy came by and asked me "so who are you rooting for?"
"Hm,"I thought. "I'm not sure... I guess I'm more rooting against the Cavs and Warriors" I said. Predictable McGovern Bullshit.
Going into the series hating both teams is something I've had to deal with before, so I wasn't concerned. Near immediately in the first quarter Bogut blocked LBJ and by my reaction I realized I was rooting for the Warriors, just not Curry - well unless they need to win - how fucking uncomfortable.

Warriors:

Barbosa: +1 -1 +1

Barnes: +1 +1 +1 +1

Bogut: +1 +1 -1 +1 +1
Curry: -1 -1 +2 +1 +1 -1 +1 -3 -1 +1 -1 (-2)
Ezeli: -1 +1
Green: -1 -1 +1 +1 

Iguodala: +1+1+2+1+1+1+3+1(11)
Speights: +1+2+1 (4)

Thompson: +1+1+1+1+1+1+1 (6)

Cleveland:
Irving: +1+1+1+1+1+3+1

James: +1-1+1-1+1+1+1-1+1+1+1(5)

Mozgov: +1+1+1+1+1(5)

Shumpert: +1+1+1

Smith: +1+1+2+ (5)

Thompson: +1+1+1+1+1 (5)

LeBron started out well but had a bunch of bad turnovers, he was subsequently penalized. Through the 3rd quarter I honestly thought Mozgov was going to steal Game 1 with his alley-oop basket cuts but Tristan Thompson is just so vital to the Cavs he was actually in the lead. However, the second-half play of Klay Thompson but mostly Iguodala helped. Not only did Iguodala prove to be a catalyst for the Warriors offense, he stymied LeBron's O pretty well and was the surge for the Warriors comeback. Although now that people here are happy about it, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

McGovern FAGGOT of the Finals:
Anthony Davis: -1 -1 -1
Refs: -1 -1
Riley Curry: -3

M. Miller: -1

FAGGOT NOTES:

Anthony Davis: -1-1-1 (3) I saw this commercial for movie "Pixels," where Anthony Davis, throws a basketball at Donkey Kong and obliterates him. Now keep in mind this basketball is real and DK is virtual... but what the fuck? I'm not buying it. I'm not having it. I'm not watching it. I'm not accepting with it. I officially challenging Anthony Davis to beat me as DK in any game ever. Until this is fulfilled he'll lose 1 point every time this commercial is aired.
Refs:-1-1

Riley Curry: -3 If I have to hear how cute this annoying piece of shit was again, I'm going to lose it. Imagine if you had a mentally handicapped adult cousin with the intelligence of a 3 year old, then you took him to work on "take retards to work day." How disastrous, annoying and well, retarded would that day be? This is the exact format of take your child to work day. And now it's both genders! I don't give a fuck who or where you are, but unless you have kids, it's annoying to see kids outside of work - and even worse while working! If I had to deal with them inside, which I sometimes do, I'd lose it (which luckily I haven't, yet). Curry having his kid at that press conference wasn't cute. It was disgusting. Like having a demented, autistic stray cat with savant syndrome that could speak. She was doing her own thing, crawling all over ignoring him and everyone else, while he acted like he didn't care. Typical cat owner. Doesn't care.