Raleigh Roundtrip...

Fuck America.
The Backstory: After getting a drinking ticket (open alchohol container - although not really because had I killed the supposed open beer and it was empty, I was just holding an UNopened one in my other hand, you know trying to not to litter... saving the world) in the faggot ass city of Raleigh, I had to show up for court on 12/16, just show up, not pay a fine or anything. Essentially making me just show up for the purpose of showing up, which sucked. Who the FUCK gives a red M&M a ticket anyway...
Before the date I had dreaded thinking about it so I usually avoided doing-so as much as possible unless I was drunk, which actually is kind of ironic. My original plan was to go up and stay with E-walk, then go to court the next day; however, after I woke up on Monday feeling like shit after drinking a massive amount for the Vikings DOMINANT victory celebration I decided to hold off on that. Instead I ended up getting wasted again on the brink of my alchohol related court date and bet on my alarm clock, something which has both served and screwed me before.
Unluckily I woke up even earlier than the 7:30 and 8:30 alarms I had set for myself the next morning; since my body apparently isn't used to over 6 hours of sleep lately, I guess my BAC wasn't high enough for the normal 12.
After leaving at 9:40 and stopping along the way to chug a Code Red to keep my eyes open I ended up there at 12:40ish. Which wasn't bad time considering everything. After checking in in court I was informed that if I had no prior convictions that I qualified for some program to get me out of this. I told him I had none; although I was unsure of that at the time... anyhow I was cleared and then this ultra friendly guy came to get me about 20 minutes later and explained to me how I could get out of this without it on my record.
So he takes me up to his office, explaining to me the scenario involved. 15 hours of classes, since I'm outside his program jurisdiction that means 15 AA hours. Which should be...well, entertaining at the very least Im hoping. Then the paperwork starts. Of course he tells me this is all confidential, but if it was, what's the point in writing it down and keeping track to begin with, is he doing a survey or what? So I obviously lied.
Guy named Smith: Okay this stuff is probably unnecessary but have you ever done any drugs?
No. - Lie
Smith: How often do you drink?
Weekly - Lie, sort of...
Smith: When is the last time you drank?
Actually, last night. - True
Smith: How many did you drink?
I had a 12 pack - Lie
Smith: Wow your tolerance is high, you need to stop or cut down.
Yeah I've been trying to cut down lately actually. - Lie

Since I don't live in the appropriate county my 'sentence' to get this off my record is 15 hours of AA meetings, which I can attend at my discretion, in the next 6 months. If that weren't a joke enough in itself I have to write a paragraph statement everytime I attend one of them. Obviously the paragraphs will contain total bullshit about what I experienced in the meeting; or perhaps what I supposedly learned. The best part is that if I were being honest, the paragraph about the class would be about the same thing every week and say as soon as this class is over I'm going to buy beer and get wasted; am I still anonymous now you dumb fuck?
Another semi-interesting thing happened after that. When I went to the judge after this Smith guy got me all set she asked me a few questions, on of them being the question that seemingly everyone always asks... Yes, 'Do you have a job?' Obviously I replied no. And she sternly replied', Get one.' At first I kind of laughed to myself but after a while I realized what the fuck. I was just in court on an alchohol related charge, and she wants me to get a job to do what? Waste my time so I can buy larger quanities of alchohol easier?
Im sure theres some other bullshit that happened that I'm forgetting since it's late as shit and Im drunk as hell but I figured I'd appease the faggot who not only inspired but bitched about this shit forever. Hopefully this is what it's supposed to be since I have no fucking clue, son. First of many drunken ramblings I'm sure.

Reality Check
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